Pam Cousineau - Making Time for Mom

 “If a kid or someone older than me can do this, then so can I. So I cranked out some tunes and I danced.” -Pam

Any woman who has taken on a full-time career, homeownership, motherhood, marriage, or any combination of the above probably knows full well what it’s like to lose yourself. To become so immersed in the needs of those around you that you look up one day to realize you don’t know who you are or what you like to do anymore. Some of us get to that point and think that it’s too late to do anything about it, so we throw ourselves into more activity, more service, more doing to fulfill others. 

And some of us, like Pam Cousineau, decide to take the brave step to make intentional changes so that we can be fulfilled by what we love doing AND THEN be our best for those we love.

Pam is a Married Midwestern Mama with a full-time job. She is similar to many women I meet along this Strong Girls Travel path - busy with work, home, family, and not much time for herself.  But a few months ago, Pam decided to take some vacation time to rediscover the adventure-loving girl she remembered. 

Enter Pam’s very first road trip. What started as a Girls Trip to do a Nashville tour ended up a Great Smoky Mountains adventure. They did some research, starting with places they had heard of, and then planned the rest of their trip around those. 

What’s really intriguing about Pam’s trip vibe was that she never intended to go and do long hiking trails. She had done some local hikes and park visits in the past, but nothing like what the Smokies would require of her. But once they got there, the trails called to them and they gave it a shot. Pam remembers thinking, “I’ve made it this far; what’s a little further?”

The first hike they took was a big one. The gals went from Twin Creeks Trail to Baskins Creek Falls, an 11-mile hike. “This one beat me up physically and mentally - which was awesome,” Pam recalls. For her first big hike, she took on a doozy, but chose to keep moving forward to see what she could accomplish. Two days after that adventure, they took on the Alum Cave Trail up to Mount Le Conte. The views from Alum Cave Bluff were nothing compared to her summit experience there. Pam made continuous choices to push herself past her own limit so that she could set another new goal for herself to overcome. 

And this was the biggest hurdle Pam knew she’d be working to beat. “Your mind is your biggest hurdle,” she says.  We will have to fight our mental battles to push through something every single time. But if we don’t fight it, we’ll never get where we know we’re meant to be.  Pam’s biggest push on this trip was finishing what she set out to do. Pam knew enough to be off trail by the time it got dark. But with so many inclines in the Smokies, when she was physically and mentally stressed, her emotions would take over and tell her she couldn’t do it. Her best friend encouraged her and helped her get real. She remembered, “If a kid or someone older than me can do this, then so can I. So I cranked out some tunes and I danced.” 

We at Strong Girls Travel absolutely love this approach to beating your goals. Pam teaches that you are stronger than you think and far more capable than you imagine. You can actually do what you set out to do - even if you have to literally dance like no one is watching. When we’re able to push aside the fear that blocks us and move into the joy that comes with meeting brave goals, we start to find our truest selves.  Even with balancing work and family, no one is holding you back from making the time except yourself.

Though many of us will think that we cannot see past our busy schedules or that we cannot just “make the time,” let’s remember that when we make time for us, even if it’s short and sweet, we learn more about who we are AND we grow stronger for those we serve and love. Making time to do what we love or be quiet and alone teaches us so much about ourselves and the world. Pam learned this on her adventure. When negative thoughts started to creep into her hiking, she had to make the intentional choice to replace them with positivity. Those positive thoughts created positive outcomes. Pam says, “If you say you can’t climb another stair, you won’t.” And she held onto this mindset beyond her trip, with those positive thoughts creating an outcome on her everyday life now.

After returning to work and family, Pam realized that her trip centered her and gave her a clearer focus for the life she’s living in town. She found that it was easier to handle stress. She knows more of who she is and what she is capable of. And she felt a pride in accomplishing things she didn’t think she could do before, giving her the motivation to tackle any problem that home or work brought her.

Moving forward, Pam is choosing to make more time - even in smaller, more localized segments - for herself and the activities she loves. She would love to explore more in the Smokies and do a big hike in Georgia soon, but in the meantime, she makes time for what she loves so that she can function at 100% for those around her. “Take the trip,” Pam encourages us. “Your mental health is so worth it.” And we couldn’t agree more.

Grateful to be on the ground after that amazing 11-mile hike!